2/4: Kaki King at Harpers Ferry

2/7: Chi at the Orpheum Theatre

2/8: Sex Workers' Art Show Tour at Hollywood KTV

2/9: The Suicide Girls Live Burlesque Tour at the Middle East Downstairs

2/11: Howie Day at the Orpheum

>TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 3

Every so often, one of Boston’s venues has a moment of insight, ditches the schedule of shameless cover bands, and books a genuine, no-nonsense act for a month-long residency. This is one of those moments (well, except that the venue is always pretty damn great). Tonight, guitarist and vocalist Sam Bisbee kicks off the first of four Tuesday nights at the Lizard Lounge (1667 Mass Ave, Cambridge), rocking with tracks from his latest album, High, in addition to some old favorites. Bisbee, whose style falls somewhere between that of Coldplay and Dashboard Confessional, will be joined by Aaron Perrino (former lead singer of the Sheila Divine) and the Exchange Students, self-proclaimed avengers of the Swedish rock-and-roll crusade. The first act goes on at 9:30, and tickets are $5 at the door.

>WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4

Here at S@n, we don’t just throw the word " swear " around like a pair of tattered, skid-marked undies (ewww). In fact, we’re so fabulously noncommittal, you’d have a tough time spotting even a few instances where we’ve sworn to anything at all. That’s why what we’re about to say is so shocking: if you’ve never heard Kaki King, we swear that you’ve never heard anything remotely like this before. The show tonight at Harpers Ferry (156 Brighton Avenue, Allston) will change the way you think about music forever. Straight from the subways of Manhattan comes a girl who can do things with a guitar you never thought possible, establishing herself firmly among the likes of Clapton, Page, and Hendrix. Thumbing bass lines, tapping melodies, and slapping beats, King is like an entire band rolled into one small and very, very cute package. Tickets for this delightfully different event are $8, and include a much-anticipated performance by Jesse Ciarmataro (who is like family to us). For more information, visit www.harpersferryboston.com

>THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 5

As part of the V-Day Worldwide Campaign to stop violence against women, we offer you a one-night-only live performance of Eve Ensler’s Obie-winning play, The Vagina Monologues. Some of the hottest women in Boston — including Terry Byrne, Sheriff Andrea Cabral, Christy Scott Cashman, Joanne Chang, Marjorie O’Neill Clapprood, Terry Hamilton, Dr. Paula Johnson, Kristen Kolakowski, Patti Kraft, Arunima Nandi, Giovanna Negretti, Shula Reinharz, Diane Rosenfeld, Kathy Taylor, Dr. Elaine Woo, and Susan Wornick — will take the stage in this all-star performance to benefit the Second Step, which provides transitional support to domestic-violence survivors. It all takes place at John Hancock Hall (180 Berkeley Street, Boston). The charitable donation/tickets range from $150 to $350, and are available by calling (617) 965-2026.

>FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6

The sad truth is that supporting your local bartender — even if you are putting him or her through college — doesn’t qualify as a charitable donation when it comes to tax write-offs. Luckily, the Institute of Contemporary Art (955 Boylston Street, Boston) is hosting " Caliente!, " a benefit that will make you and your accountant happy. The evening celebrates the art and culture of Mexico. From 7:30 to midnight, the galleries will teem with paintings, sculptures, photographs, and videos inspired by our exotic neighbor to the south, while the house heats up with salsa dancing, spicy border cuisine, and cocktails. You’ll also have the chance to win items donated by top Boston restaurants, retailers, and spas, so you won’t go home empty-handed. General-admission tickets are $100, and VIP tickets (which grant access to an elite pre-party in the Latin lounge), are $150. Call (617) 927-6613.

>SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7

It only takes one ride on the B Line on a Friday or Saturday night to realize that balance is not a strong point for the average Bostonian. In fact, some nights, Allston can look like a Monty Python sketch gone terribly, terribly wrong. But whether you’re web-footed, bow-legged, or just plain clumsy, nothing will make your jaw drop quite like a team of 40 synchronized gymnasts, dancers, tumblers, and jugglers bounding across a stage like rabbits on speed. Tonight at the Orpheum Theatre (1 Hamilton Place, Boston), Chi — the love child of Cirque du Soleil and Jackie Chan — presents an awe-inspiring fusion of acrobatics and martial arts, celebrating the equilibrium of the life force inherent in all things. Tickets for the balance bonanza start at $25 at www.worldmusic.org , and the show begins at 8.

>SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8

What’s your pleasure? Last year’s overwhelmingly successful Sex Workers’ Art Show Tour is riding into town tonight at Hollywood KTV (41 Essex Street, Boston). When this troop of trannies and trollops flounced into town last year, they sold out the Oni Gallery. This year, with any luck, KTV’s two floors of clubland should hold all you dirty little boys and girls. Founder, director, and dominatrix Ana Jae is bringing another smorgasbord of multimedia art, sex, film, sex, performance, and, of course, sex. The night of awareness and pleasures starts at 7:30, and tickets are $10. Visit www.truthserum.org for more juicy details.

>MONDAY, FEBRUARY 9

Girls, girls, girls . . . hot, hot, hot . . . And what could be hotter than vamped-up, punkalicious, tattooed vixens writhing, bouncing, and shaking for your viewing pleasure? For any of you unfamiliar with the alterna-pin-up Web site www.suicidegirls.com, run home now and log on — all the rest of you, hold onto your crotch! The Suicide Girls Live Burlesque Tour is coming to town tonight for one evening at the Middle East Downstairs (480 Mass Ave, Cambridge). The ladies hit the stage after a few choice opening sounds from Bloom and Harris. Tickets are $10 in advance (www.ticketmaster.com) and $12 at the door, as if this show isn’t going to sell out. Doors, as always, open at 9. You gotta love a goth girl in a garter belt.

>TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10

There’s nothing like a bit of mayhem to start your week. The Mayhem we are referring to is the Boston Modern Orchestra Project’s third installment of its " Who’s Afraid of Modern Music? " series, taking place tonight in the Moonshine Room at Club Café (209 Columbus Avenue, South End, Boston). BMOP started the innovative performance/discussion evenings as a bridge between " the sidewalk and the concert hall. " Performers include pianist Sarah Bob, percussionist Robert Schulz, and violist Kate Vincent. The show starts at 7, the door is $15, and you can get more information at www.bmop.org. (By the way, BMOP is pronounced " bee-mop " by those in the know.)

>WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11

Rock-and-roll hottie alert! Howie Day is back in Boston tonight. With his career in mid-blossom, he’s ditched the " lone man with a guitar " thing for a fully fleshed-out band approach. Howie’s new, full sound comes to you via Les Hall on guitar/keyboards, Laurie Jenkins on drums, and Jeremy Curtis on bass. They’ll be hitting the stage at the Orpheum (One Hamilton Place, Boston) along with Brit-pop masters the Stereophonics. The show starts at 7:30, and tickets are available through www.ticketmaster.com for $23 a pop.

>THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12

Thursday is an odd night to go out. Not quite the weekend, not quite the week, it’s the perfect night for a musical, gender-bending extravaganza. Fresh Fruit is back! And its latest side-splitting, boa-tossing act is Fresh Fruit’s Greatest Pits at the Tremont Theatre (276 Tremont Street, Boston). The show will feature short numbers from all the troupe’s family favorites past, from Spring Queening to Venus Envy to Yule En Rouge. The show starts at 8, and runs through February 21. Tickets are available by calling (617) 983-2221 for $20, with super-special sparkly VIP seating for $25.

>FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13

Nothing warms you up for Valentine’s Day like a silent, 35-minute blowjob. Of course, we’re referring to one of several Andy Warhol films showcased at the Harvard Film Archive (24 Quincy Street, Cambridge). Blow Job (1963) is a classic commentary on the nature of voyeurism, featuring a close-up of an unnamed man’s face as he undergoes the title sexual act. Vinyl (1965) is a wonderfully sadomasochistic adaptation of Anthony Burgess’s A Clockwork Orange, and The Velvet Underground and Nico (1966) boasts some pretty funky camera work over live footage of the band rehearsing at the Factory. Find out more about the man behind the Campbell’s Soup cans . . . or at least discover the kinds of films he made when smoking copious amounts of pot. Tickets are $8, and can be purchased in advance by calling the Harvard box office at (617) 496-2222.

>SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14

There is plenty to do tonight, all in the name of love, and some even in the name of anti-love. For instance, the birthday party for a certain unnamed assistant editor of a certain magazine (fabulously shameless, aren’t we?). But we digress. If you really want to blow a wad of cash on your sweetie and have him or her swooning all the way home, the nine-course grand luxe menu at Radius (8 High Street, Boston) is the date for you. Chef/owner Michael Schlow will toss out plate after plate of decadent dishes for your dining pleasure. The menu is $125 per person; for an additional $75 per person, you can opt for the wine pairings, which we guarantee will cause you to loose track of what number plate is next. For details and reservations, click on www.radiusrestaurant.com. On a night like tonight, you’ll be lucky if the restaurant isn’t already booked.

Tonight is the night: fellas, you had better have something suave up your sleeves, or your sweetheart will feel slighted and deny you the type of affection most appropriate for Valentine’s Day. While your options are virtually endless, why not try a decadent feast in the swank setting of the 711 Supper Club (711 Boylston Street, Boston)? Great live entertainment, a five-course frenzy of food, and a glass of wine can all be yours for only $35 per person, a price that is an absurd bargain in this day and age – but don’t worry, your sweetie will think you spent a fortune. Call (617) 437-0002.

>SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15

There’s so much cool rock-star stuff going on tonight that we hardly know where to begin. You can hit them all in one fell swoop over at the Middle East (472-480 Mass Ave, Cambridge). At 7 the opening reception for David Conley’s art show " Democracy in Crisis! " happens at the Middle East Restaurant. If you’re cool enough, you may know him as Dave Tree, the local hardcore rocker from (duh) Tree, now turned political propagandist. His witty artwork, coined " sloganeering, " will be available in print and T-shirt form, for more effective social-consciousness raising. Then stroll next door to ZuZu at 8 and catch Carly Weaver’s polar-opposite exhibit. The sweet and girlie nature of her subject matter is blown out by the enormous size of each piece and the seemingly mutilated qualities of the work — you have to check these out. Also appearing at the opening are Johnny Spaceman and Big Digits hosting karaoke. Fun, cultured, and bound to get ugly — just the way we like it. Check out www.mideastclub.com for more info.

We’ve always wondered what would happen if somebody took free jazz, mixed in some noise rock and folk, and topped it off with some avant-garde art and graffiti. Apparently, somebody already has, and the result is Jackie-O Motherfucker, a veritable smorgasbord of musical and artistic media. Originally founded in 1994 as a guitar-and-saxophone duo, JOMF have exploded, growing to encompass as many as 20 rotating musicians, wreaking havoc in Portland, Baltimore, and New York. This is way more than an experimental ’60s revival — it’s an intelligent, spontaneous, multisensory experience that will make you laugh, cry, and order a refill of your prescription of crazy pills. And where else but the Zeitgeist Gallery (1353 Cambridge Street, Cambridge) would something like this go down? The madness begins at 9:30, and is open to all ages. Call (617) 876-6060 for more info.

>MONDAY, FEBRUARY 16

Monday blues got you down? The alt-country roots run deep tonight at the Middle East as singer/songwriter/guitarist Will Johnson brings his band Centro-matic to the intimate upstairs room. For those of you who haven’t heard of No Depression, Johnson’s an incredibly prolific Texas lad who started Centro-matic back in 1995 as an outlet for his extra songs. Before long, the band had settled into ex–Uncle Tupelo/Sun Volt roots-rock guru Jar Farrar’s private studio, where they recorded enough material for five or six albums. Some of those songs made it onto the new Love You Just the Same CD, which is what’s bringing Johnson and the boys to town. Is that enough information for you? Also playing are Mendoza Line and the Pale. Tickets are $9 and the door’s at 9.