Saturday

THAR HE BLOWS: Jazz trumpeter Wynton Marsalis and the Lincoln Jazz Orchestra stop by the North Shore Music Theatre tonight at 8. Think of the show as a musical education for the jazz-impaired. You'll hear fresh tracks, plus classics from Duke Ellington, Charles Mingus, and John Coltrane, plus music that explores flamenco, tango, and samba. Tickets are $49 to $57. 62 Dunham Rd., Beverly, 978-232-7200.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY: We're still feeling a bit shaken up by this week's threats from the recording industry to sue if we continue swapping songs over the Internet. Perhaps the recording industry should busy itself by going after the real criminals - mediocre bands that are torturing us with milquetoast melodies. Sue Matchbox 20, arrest Evanescence, and lock up 3 Doors Down. These bands are causing far more damage than MP3 swappers. We're ready to forget the whole sordid mess, and we've found the perfect distraction - gratis music that comes free of Big Brother threats. Toad in Porter Square celebrates 10 years of free music today with a whopper of an 11-hour show featuring performances from Todd Thibaud, Rick Berlin, Kris Delmhorst, Sean Staples, the Weisstronauts, the Family Jewels, Fooled By April, the Heygoods, Sarah Borges Jake Brennan, and Steve Mayone, plus many more. There's also free grub. Leave your worries and wallet at home. Doors are at noon, the music starts at 1, and the concert continues through 2 a.m. 1912 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, 617-497-4950.

TURN THE BEAT AROUND: When Go! hears the phrase "deep, dark, and sexy" we think of Fudgsicles. But local DJs Tym Ryan, Craig Kapilow, Eric Gray, and Alan Manzi clearly had something else on the brain when they thought up the phrase, namely Detroit techno, London tech-house, and German electro. You can experience the quartet's version of Deep, Dark & Sexy upstairs at the Cellar tonight at 9. The night is 21-plus and free. 991 Massachusetts Ave, Central Square, 617-253-2475.

YOUR EGO IS SHOWING: Broadway may have Harvey Fierstein as pleasantly plump housewife Edna Turnblad in "Hairspray," but Boston has its own raspy-voiced theatrical cross-dresser in the form of Will McGarrahan's feisty Sylvia St. Criox in "Ruthless!" McGarrahan expertly replicates the manic stares, the smoldering glares, and the choleric expressions of every 1940s Hollywood B-movie actress in his turn as the determined talent agent. If you're a fan of cheeky, campy musicals such as "Urinetown," "Batboy," and "The Producers," we have a hunch that you'll also enjoy "Ruthless!" It combines elements of pop culture staples such as "All About Eve," and "The Bad Seed" to tell the tale of a overly determined tyke and her willingness to break into show business. "Ruthless" runs through July 12. You can see it today at the Boston Center for the Arts at 4 and 8; $31. And a quick warning: Today is the final day for "Batboy: The Musical," also at the BCA. You can see the show today at 4 and 8. Tickets are $35 and $38. 539 Tremont St., 617-426-2787.

ALL THAT GLITTERS: Big doings at tonight's Glitter Switch Karaoke at the Ecko Lounge in Chinatown. Maura Jasper and Hilken Mancini from Punk Rock Aerobics will be on hand to help celebrate Glitter Switch's one year anniversary. See local drag kings, including Heywood Wakefield, perform, plus kings and queens sing along to their favorites. It's like watching "American Idol" as interpreted by a bunch of on-the-edge cross-dressers. Dress up, or wear your boring old black T-shirt. Either way, it starts promptly at 7:30; $5. 41 Essex St., 617-338-8283.

COCKTAILS AT 11: While a box of Triscuits and six-pack of Bartles and Jaymes may have passed for cocktail party during your college years, it's simply not going to cut it now that you've entered post-collegiate adulthood. Here to help the party-impaired is Radius chef de cuisine Brian Reimer and mixologist Judge DiCesaro. Today from 11 to 2:30, the pair show you how to make frothy summer cocktails, decorate the hors d'oeuvres tray, and make recipes for your next warm-weather bash. The cost of the class is $125 and includes lunch featuring the food used in the lesson. If you prefer your cocktails made by someone else, try an evening on the patio at Piattini. The Italian wine cafe is offering new treats such as the Piattini Amore (peach brandy with cranberry juice) and the Gloom Chaser (Grand Marnier, curacao and grenadine). Radius, 8 High St., 617-426-1234. Piattini Wine Cafe, 226 Newbury St., 617-536-2020.

PAINTED SMILES: A blurry-eyed Go! ritualistically spends Saturday mornings glued to BBC America, ingesting a steady stream of ''Changing Rooms,'' ''Ground Force,'' and ''House Invaders'' with a trail of drool and Pop Tart crumbs running down our stubble-covered chin. Watching other people improve their homes is our definition of house work. But those of you capable of showering before 2 on Saturdays (show-offs!), can actually do something to improve your manse - such as perusing and purchasing art. Saturday morning at 11, the OHT Gallery offers a last look at its mixed-media show from artists Katherine Jackson and Henry Mandell. Browse and help yourself to coffee and donuts, even if you're too cheap to buy any of the art. The Clifford Smith Gallery also offers a last look (plus coffee and doughnuts) at its current show, called - coincidentally - ''Last Look.'' OHT Gallery, 450 Harrison Ave., third floor, 617-423-1677. Clifford Smith Gallery, 450 Harrison Ave., Suite 300, 617-695-0255.

Sunday

JAY LOWS: Long before Wilco checked into the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, alt-country pioneers the Jayhawks traveled the same dusty roads with rootsy, melancholy songs. Lately, however, the band has given its rainy-day feeling a tasty, jangly soundtrack. Hear it tonight when the Jayhawks stop by the Paradise Rock Club at 7. Tickets are $22.50. 969 Commonwealth Ave., 617-562-8800.